Anyone who knows hip-hop knows that similes are either the 5th, 6th or 7th element of hip-hop, depending on what kind of mood KRS-One is in when he revises the list this week.
But just like all the other elements, the once-mighty simile is not respected like it used to be. Sure, young folks still love comparing themselves to things, but they also prefer to avoid the hassle of expressing a complete thought. So more often than not, nowadays they just blurt out two things that might be clever to compare, without bothering to formulate a sentence around them.
Although (contrary to current perception) he didn’t invent it, today’s top pop rapper Drake is a true master of this abbreviative art:
“Bout to set it off in this b***h. Jada Pinkett.”
“I can teach you how to speak my language. Rosetta Stone.”
“Your city faded off to brown. Nino.
Swimming in the money come and find me. Nemo.
If I was at the club you know I balled. Chemo.”
And yesterday twitter’s hip-hop community paid tribute to Drake’s fondness for abridged analogies, with an all-day onslaught of #fakedrake lyrics. Our secret panel of Terrible Fake Rhyme Analysts has compiled a list of the ten best:
10. Put slugs in your belly. Escargot. @bdetrick 9. If you pull one I’mma Draw Two. Uno. @igo2far 8. Like a good neighbor. State Farm. @ivanrott 7. I run this paper business. Michael Scott. @brokencool 6. I stay with a quarter in my system. Payphone. @stupiddopemoves 5. I was just giving her a ride home. Eddie Murphy. @brokencool 4. Just do it. Nike. @ivanrott 3. Rocawear chancletas. Camel toes. @bdetrick 2. [corporate slogan]. [corporation's name]. @IvanRott 1. You only move grams. Wheelchair. @bdetrick
{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }
“[corporate slogan], [corporate name]” easily should have been number one!
best hashtag ever
” he didn’t event it”
you can’t make fun of someone’s grammar if you make dumb
mistakes too.
1) Dude that was a typo.
2) Dude this is a joke.
Lyrics are not supposed to have proper grammar. I’m kidding about “young folks are lazy” stuff, it’s really just a more concise structure that can be dope when used well. Pharoahe used it in the clip I posted last week “..make you shoot your best friend in the face. Dick Cheney.”
those were ooooooooooook.
how about:
1. My shits about to drop. Prairie Doggin.
2. Cats spit cartoon raps. Nick, Noggin.
3. Young Simba in this game. Hakuna Matata.
4. Chock full of goodness. Empinada
Nah, he got it right for the #1 spot. That grams line had me rolling. There I go again…
Yeah, the grams line had me rolling too. Two honorable mentions I saw:
1) I keep moving can’t be stopped. Toyota.
2) I’m on another level so don’t ask me for a feature. Sade.
If I recall a simile requires the usage of the words “like” or “as”….these would be metaphors.
Lyrics don’t make the money, money makes the lyrics. Waka.
OK, that Michael Scott bit earns a genuine LOL.
[corporate logo] and Eddie Murphy! or should i say: FTW. EpicWin.
Kris Parker opening, well played.
i like the wheelchair line, it’s a sick knock at his time on degrassi. <3 canadian melodrama
How come people don’t understand parody?
Those are amazing; the Uno line killed me.
On a semi-related note, one of my favorite lines in a hip hop song ever has to be from Ras Kass’ “The End”: “My metaphors is meta-five.”
i like several of these better than actual drake lyrics
I take hits to the face, no problem: Debo.
The Uno line was my favorite…I am going to use that…
As far as making grammar mistakes..J…who gives a hoot you are an exceptional communicator and writer…people judge my syntax all the time when I write…and I just say you read it didn’t you and that is the point! It just SOME n****s understand my story!
Im the shit, Boo Boo
white boy around my way . didn’t think i’d peep lol. he watched degrassi-
cake chase, so for the young money i would roll. Jimmy
THAT WHOLE STYLE WAS CREATED BY BIG SEAN NI**AS IZ BITING HIS STYLE AND NOT EVEN GIVING CREDIT. GO LISTEN TO SUPA DUPA BY BIG SEAN SEE WHERE THEZE NI**AS GOT THE STYLE FROM
yeah cause that supa dupa lemonade dropped last month….come on son.
Hilarious post, Jay.
Also, all I could think of was this comic when I read the second comment to this post: http://www.shoeboxblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/intentional-typo-499×498.jpg
this is fun i feel like freck billionaire’s ghostwriter.
girl gave me big head. jay leno
i stay high. laguardia.
i pull strings. bb king
i piss away my funds. r kelly
i have no heart. tin man
i fall off stages. bob dole
supa dupa lol yeah like YO said that came out a month ago, c’mon son, lol.
i like how fabolous ran thru some on his new mixtape personally, and the grams line was hilarious
keep that bitch comin like, blocka blocka
go to your head like a shot’a vodka
rock a sick fit call a doctor, patna
you’d think i had a gucci deal, wocka flocka
I gobble chips no dip. Dorito.
I make chicks switch hips. Libido.
Your breath smell like shit. Charmin.
You gayer than fresh prince. Charming.
Imagine a motherfucker talking like this. Cringing.
These type rhymes get on my nerves. Ending.
i can go all night. tiger balm.
I’m getting it in tonight. tiger’s palm.
Zombie flow, follow the light. Fish.
I spit crypt and speak heat. Bitch.
I might do this for the rest of my life. please don’t.
One day I’ll talk like this to my wife. No i won’t.
I’m losing my modus operendi. copycat.
I’m losing my motherfucking mind. copy that.
I’m Tiger and I’m a cheetah…hiding in the woods.
But what does @DrakesKnee have to say about all this?
This drop was just like going to the school infirmary… Class sick.
@dbilodeau, this spelling/grammatical errors post tops your cartoon. Hilarious: http://stuffblackpeoplehate.com/2008/03/26/spelling-and-grammatical-errors/
“You only move grams. Wheelchair.”
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
I see some ppl aren’t familiar with big sean, the track “supa dupa” he is referring to did not drop last month, that track was on big sean’s mixtape that dropped ages ago!
“stay ballin on special islands”. Lost
Phony. Makin up stories. Fable.
My lady’ too fuckin neat. Anal.
Those shits are brilliant, almost as brilliant as cam’s lost notebook.
yeah y’all wildin…big seans mixtape came out april last year…and SUPA DUPA is on that…been tryna tell people kanye nd drake both jackin dudes whole flow…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-3wN7HacnQ
tis the truth about Big Sean people. He says it time and time again. I also remember when Drake didn’t flow like this.
“…When they see me on my high horse. Polo.”
“A problem too big. Trig.”
man trigonometry used to blow back in high school.
As far as this post goes, some truth has been revealed. Matlock.
You do know simile uses “like” or “as” to compare rite? Whereas metaphors don’t use “like” of “as” to compare.
Just asking.
Her breasts were so Full, Monty
But mami, I avoid the Drama, Johnny
You ain’t finna scheme on me, Ponzi
But still the haters gunnin for my top, Tommy
That’s fine, I’m still poppin ‘Cris, Farley
Grab champ. flutes from the hutch, Starsky
Simon says “go get a grammy,” Carly
The fact I didn’t win was turrrible, Barkley
Light skin and bright lights on the marquee, Mark
Weezy and Baby in the car seat, parked
The whole Crew sippin Juice, Marley Marl
Shit’s so funny, Laurel and Hardy har
GQ: If that question wa directed at me, umm, yes, I am familiar with the meaning of the word “simile.” Are you familiar with hip-hop?
One of the most common devices used by emcees over the years has been boasting the form of a simile, like (all from the same song):
“I relieve rappers just like Tylenol”
“I’m genuine like Gucci, raw like sushi” or
“I give a speech like a Reverend”
“I work like a slave to become a master”
“24-7 chillin, killin like a villain”
“do work like a mechanic”
“skeptic, like a girl on a contraceptic [sic]”
“I’ll get raw for ya, just like a warrior rather like a samurai”
This type of wordplay/boast is done in simile far more often than metaphor (metaphor is used often too in rhymes, but in different ways). For example see this list, which is composed entirely of similes even though the title says “Best metaphors and similes:
http://www.flocabulary.com/hiphopmetaphors.html
This is the tradition, of using similes, that I was referring to, and that Drake and others are altering, by just saying the two thought fragments without combining them in a sentence. For example if Drake was saying those rhymes he’d say “I give a speech. Reverend.” or “I do work. Mechanic.”
3 blueprints like jay hovas in this/
but my name ring bells…… jehovahs witness/
africans’ll spear u like federline……. harpoon boy
i’ll let the 9 milli start jerkin……. new boys/
spongbob squarepants rappers…… cartoons boy/
these rappers aint fly they fakin it…….. Balloon Boy/
I’m nice with mics, Cus D’amato
i get my point straight across. 2:45.
I’ve got nuggets of dough, Rose (comma) Jalen
You cant even name your paper. Sarah Palin
i dont know why I decided to join in
@YO @lol
regarding CWEST’s posts.
He Said: SUPA DUPA!
NOT Supa Dupa Lemonade.
They are 2 DIFFERENT songs!! smh. “Supa Dupa” came over a year ago!!
Just look at this one upload date http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-3wN7HacnQ it may have come out earlier, I dunno.
..lol @GQ dude (*lil kid ghetto voice* “..corn ball”) ..smh ‘trying’ to shine on here. #StopIt5 everyone on here (..esp Jay, duhh) is educated. #Sitdown
Lol ..all & all, funny stuff.
Jay Smooth this might be a dumb question, but do u have a podcast bro?
..lol & Dallas Penn whats poppin fam?! ..BOSS (if thats really you)
great piece. silent fan.
I’ll drop my personal take of #fakedrake
my laugh be like candy. snickers.
salaam, jay.
abby francis
on the mic you know i drop bombs.Hiroshima
your sex im lovin it. mcdonalds
you all know the king is back. burger king
you know your in good hands..allstate
thank you for pointing this out Jay. I tried to explain my homie the other day my near frustration w/ these faux similes.
Craziest thing about the simile/metaphor discussion is that a simile is a specific kind of metaphor.
For the cats that don’t follow, a simile is always a metaphor. A metaphor is not always a simile.
Came back to this after randomly listening to Good Morning off of Graduation (September 2007), where Kanye says “You got d’s muhfucka, d’s! Rosie Perez.” So that predates Big Sean’s Supa Dupa.
girls that i bone stay ready. Prom Night
Never Telling The Truth Your Like The King On The Jungle. Lion
Come To Me The Price Is Right. Bob Barker